Friday, August 31, 2012
Week 2 dicussion - Question 2
A relationship of mine that has become close over time is the one I have with my significant other. He and I met in middle school, but didn't pay much attention to each other's existence. At that time, our relationship was an I-It because we basically ignored one another. I walked passed him in the hallways, not even acknowledging him even though I've met him once. This kind of relationship between us lasted for about 3/4 years until his senior year in Highschool. For some reason, he had worked up the courage to approach me again and get to know me. During this stage, we talked "small-talk", texting each other about our days and asking what we're doing at the time. It was very casual and our personal, private lives were never discussed. After a while, we became great friends and a relationship blossomed.
Now, our relationship can be described as an "I-thou" kind. We've gotten very comfortable around each other, so our guards our down and the trust is high. He and I talk every night, discussing not only what we did for the day, but also how we felt. Feelings and problems are often discussed in our conversations because we have opened ourselves completely to each other. Our relationship definitely had differences over time because we went from being non-existent in each other's lives, to friends, and now as a couple.
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I think that the weirdest relationships are those that you develop unintentionally. You mentioned that you and your current boyfriend had school together in middle school but never really paid attention to each others existence, and in my opinion it is the most awkward when you first start talking or develop a liking toward one another when you, at first, felt nothing at all. It must have been weird for a middle school classmate whom you don't even say "hi" to to suddenly start small talk. Personally, I would have been very sensitive about the situation and knew he had a crush on me and, if I felt nothing, I would not have let a relationship blossom.
ReplyDeleteYour relationship with your significant other reminds me of the relationship I have with my friend. We started as the I-It relationship as well. He is my cousin's best friend so only saw each other at family parties, then he finally approached me and we had the "small talk" as well. Our relationship started blossoming gradually. It went from "small talk" to texting all day and talking for long hours. Now we have the I-You relationship, which is definitely much better because now we confide in each other and talk about everything and anything. I’m glad our relationship went from the I-It to the I-You.
ReplyDeleteHi Hermione,
ReplyDeleteThat is some great insight as to how your relationship has moved along the scale, especially from such a young age to your now mature role. I wonder if it is easier for people to transition throughout the stages if they have already made a personal connection and have established long-term ties such as you? Fundamentally, as young children we are always in a linear model, thus exposing us to the I-It, we have to grow into the I-You. In regards to these two models, I think it is to distinguish, yet you have seemed to transition to the 3rd category. I am curious, did you move into the I-You category at all, or do you feel that you were able to move into the I-Thou? Congrats on your relationship and good job on the blog.
I love how the relationships that we do not plan some how end up working out in a great way. It's really great that you have found an i-thou relationship with someone else because i know it is really hard to find someone that understands you that well. Relationships are not easy and i am glad to hear that you have found one that you really cherish. I too went through an experience like this where we began as an i-it relationship to an i-thou relationship. We realize how amazing it is to have each other in our lives by going through such an experience.
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