Week 6 discussion - Question 3

The topic that stuck out to me the most in this chapter is the internal obstacles that hinder us from listening. The first one is preoccupation which means that we are too into our own thoughts and other life concerns that we cannot focus on what a speaker is saying. Next is prejudgment that occurs when a listener think he/she already knows what is going to be said or just judged someone before they started talking so they tune out the information being given. Reacting to emotionally loaded language is the fourth obstacle because people tend to react emotionally to a speaker's way of talking that they may not fully understand the meaning of whatever is being said. Lack of effort is an obstacle because listening takes a lot of energy and effort to do so sometimes people are not focusing well enough to actually understand meanings. Lastly, failure to adapt listening styles because it is necessary to be able to adjust to different listening styles when needed and some people fail to do so, making it hard for them to listen effectively. I felt like these five internal obstacles are really helpful to know because people need to see and understand what is causing them to be a bad listener so they can work on making it better.

Week 6 discussion - Question 2

In "Listening is a 10 part skill", I learned that it is good to always find an area of interest when listening because most people become bad listeners after they've decided nothing is interesting them in the communication happening. So, always ask yourself what is this speaker saying that I can use. The word "use" is the key to finding an interest in whatever topic someone is talking about. I also learned that as a listener, you are supposed to judge the content of a speech instead of how you feel about the speaker and to "hold your fire" if you do disagree with the things being said. Note taking and working on listening better is also a key skill because note taking can increase your knowledge about the ideas and having enough energy to listen will improve listening skills. Lastly, I learned that it is best to free ourselves of distraction when listening because most people talk at a fast speed and without distractions, we can listen better.

Week 6 discussion - Question 1

The six types of nonlistening forms that were discussed in this chapter were: pseudolistening which means pretending to listen, monopolizing as in only continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of listening to the person talking, selective listening that only focuses on particular parts of communication, defensive listening which means perceiving personal attacks, criticism, etc that is not critical or mean-spirited, ambushing that's only purpose is to attack the speaker, and literal listening where everything is taken literally and pays no attention to the relationship level of meaning. 

I believe the type of nonlistening form that I engage in the most in my everyday life is pseudolistening. This happens because I get distracted very easily and my mind wanders off a lot. In the morning before I leave for school, my mom usually tells me all these precautionary rules and I appear to be listening, but I'm really just too into my phone. In my history class, I am not concentrated in class and only seem to be listening when in reality I'm day dreaming or surfing the internet when I get ahead of note taking. I do get worried sometimes that I'm not receiving important information because my mind is always elsewhere. I believe I can fix this by using my technology devices less often because that seems to be the number one reason why I cannot concentrate on one thing. I'm always distracted by social networks, phone calls, and text messages. I absolutely believe that having less time on my phone and laptop can help me be a better listener.

Week 4 discussion - Question 3

The reading that stood out to me the most this week was ambiguity. We focused a lot on this term in my Comm 40 class last semester so it was interesting to me to see it pop up again in readings this semester. Ambiguity means that something is unclear or can be interpreted in different way by different people. For example, saying "It's hot" is ambiguous because what is hot for someone may be not the same for another person. It would be understood better if someone says, "It's 80 degrees today." because everyone knows exactly what 80 degrees feels like and they can say for themselves if that is hot or not. The meaning of words or phrases is changed depending on who it is. Most people are misunderstood because they used ambiguous words instead of being specific when they are trying to communicate something. Communication is improved if people had less ambiguity in their speech. 

Week 4 discussion - Question 2

I learned that hate speech is defined as any communication or gesture that targets a person because of his/her race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. The people that engage in it are those who protest against a certain attribute that a person has or people who just have something against someone's race, gender, etc. There are not much effort to regulate hate speech on the Web because the First Amendment protects it. The First amendment allows people to freely express themselves through speech and they cannot be punished by saying whatever they want as long as it is not libel, obscenity, or fighting words. I believe that hate speech should be banned and people who choose to use hate speech should be penalized. Hate speech should definitely censored because not only is it hateful, but it can lead to many horrible consequences such as depression of the person targeted, or even worse, suicide. Some people may argue that censoring hate speech would be violating our right to free speech, but free speech should not be abused and used to bash on people just because we do not agree with who they are and their way of life. I think hate speech can be reduced if people were educated on its consequences. Also, reducing hate speech can start at home, where parents and elders can teach their children at a young age that it is wrong and it should not be done. The way kids were raised can really have an affect on how they would be when they're older.

Week 4 discussion - Question 1

I agree that the metaphor "melting pot" is not very respectful in terms of honoring people's differences. America is such a diverse country, full of people with different backgrounds, cultures, and personalities. It would be completely wrong to say that all these people are supposed melt into one kind of person and have a unified character. For me, I see the American society as ingredients to a wonderful family dinner. All these ingredients are unique and one of a kind that give their own flavor to the entree. The American society is full of people who contribute to the country with all their different attributes that makes this country a special one. If there was a missing ingredient because one does not fit for the recipe, there are many others who can fill in the spot even if they are not exactly the same. That also goes for America because different people are better fit for different type of jobs. So I believe that the metaphor of the society being ingredients to an amazing meal is a good one because each and everyone of us has something to offer to be a part of something great.

Week 3 discussion - Question 3

The concept that caught my interest and wanted to focus on more in depth was the Family influences of Self-Concept. Growing up, I didn't know that there were so many influences that we have in our lives that determine who we are and what we become later on in life. Direct Definition is when a family member or anyone else in your life directly tells you who they want you to be. For example, my mom always used to tell me when I was little that I was a bright girl, so I grew up thinking so. The next one is reflected appraisal is when we see ourselves as who people see us as. If someone even indirectly shows us that we are likable, we would take it upon ourselves that we are likable. Identity Scripts are rules that we live by as early as when we learn how to talk. If our family members value education, we grow up knowing to finish school because it's a rule that we were taught. The last one is attachment style. It is when parents or caregivers teach us how to handle relationships in our life. If our parents are loving, we would most likely be loving later on and if they are abusive, there is a chance that we might turn out to be also.

Week 3 discussion - Question 2

The books defines race as "the primary aspect of personal identity." It is what people classify a person as just by looking at him/her. I definitely do not believe it is a useful way of classifying people because race comes with many stereotypes that is not true for many people in that race. Race is also mistaken easily so it cannot be an accurate way to determine who people are. Some person will see an Asian person and automatically think she's Chinese, but in reality she's actually Vietnamese. That type of confusion is common among many people that it cannot be good to use it as a way to classify people. Also, race makes people bias. A more popular race, like Caucasian may be treated much better than someone who is African-American, Asian, or Indian. I also definitely believe that the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races because nowadays, more interracial relationships are going on, resulting into mixed children. These children should be able to identify both races that they are. However, even though they define themselves as a certain mixed race, they should still not be classified in that way because personality is still more important than the color of your skin, your heritage, or the family that you were born in.

Week 3 discussion - Question 1

The woman that I talked to that was 20 years older than me was my mom. She explained to me that being a 20 year old in the Philippines was much more different that being a 20 year old in America today. Most of the parents at that time were conservative and strict with their children, even if they are 20 years old already. She was to be in college, stay in it, and graduate. Not only was she expected to finish her education, she was also expected to help provide for her family. She said that anyone who went off this path was badly looked upon and considered "inappropriate". Filipinos at that time believed that the children were supposed to help their parents and not start a family until they were stable financially. It was inappropriate for them to stray away from their parents and/or do something that they weren't told to do. My mom also said that 20 year old women who got pregnant during that time were considered "mess-ups" of the society.

The man that I spoke to that was 20 years my senior was my old highschool Physiology teacher. When he was a 20 year old, his goals were to finish college and get a good job. He was from a pair of immigrant parents and a community of immigrants so being in college was a big achievement for him and most especially his family. Everyone's goals around him was to be successful and bring a better life to his family because that was the reason they migrated to America. He said that most 20 year olds during his time were more goal-oriented and motivated to work hard. Nowadays, some 20 year olds are not in school, do not have a job, and just living at home doing nothing. He explained that, that would have not been tolerated when he was a 20 year old.

The next person I interviewed was my grandpa, who is 40 years older than me. He didn't remember exactly what he did at the age of 20, but he said that most men that age in the Philippines were forced to be the breadwinner of the family. He was made to stop school, or not go at all to find a job and help put food on the table. He also said that most men were very hard working when he was 20 and they were all expected to be. Men were also very involved in politics and current events. Filipino families were very religious and it was extremely inappropriate for men to not follow the word of God and go to church weekly. The women during his time were very domestic and usually stayed at home to help her family with house work. He said that most of them were even married early.

I was set on interviewing my great Aunt until I sat with a 73 year old woman in the bus a couple of days before I wrote this blog post. She started to talk me about about my iPhone because she was amazed about the technology nowadays. I saw this an opportunity to talk to her about this assignment. Just like my grandpa, she didn't remember exactly what she did when she was 20, but she did know what the expectations were for her and other women around that age. She said that around that time, women were mostly homemakers, they were supposed to make food and clean. A lot of them married after highschool and it was abnormal to see some go on to college. Education were not in their goals. She chuckled and said, "Some men were actually scared of a smart woman." She explained to me that women were supposed to listen more than talk and they were to act properly, especially around men. Joining conversations that did not involve cooking and such was inappropriate behavior for them.

What I concluded with my interviews was that the older generation when they were in their 20's were absolutely much more hard working and family-oriented. They all conformed to what society or their family wanted them to do or be. 20 year olds nowadays go on their own paths and even move out as soon as they can. Some are even so used to being spoiled and having things handed to them that they do not the value of money and what it mean to work hard or provide for family. People were definitely raised more differently and less conservative. Women, especially, have different expectations then than now. They are more equal than they have ever been to men and like being so.

Week 2 discussion - Question 3

The concept that I found interesting during this assigned reading was Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I've seen it before in my psychology class my senior year. Reading about these ideas once more, in more detail and examples, allowed me to fully understand what they mean. I find it useful to know these needs because I feel like I can cater to myself and my loved ones more by knowing exactly what they need to be satisfied in their life. I also enjoyed that it tied in with how important communication is to survive. For example, our physical needs are met when we communicate to people such as our doctors for our illnesses and our bosses for our salary. The need that caught my attention the most is the "self-actualization" one. I learned that personal growth is the way to be truly happy with myself. I also learned that it is okay to experiment with different kind of lifestyles for myself because it will help me find what I really want and be at peace with myself.