The woman that I talked to that was 20 years older than me was my mom. She explained to me that being a 20 year old in the Philippines was much more different that being a 20 year old in America today. Most of the parents at that time were conservative and strict with their children, even if they are 20 years old already. She was to be in college, stay in it, and graduate. Not only was she expected to finish her education, she was also expected to help provide for her family. She said that anyone who went off this path was badly looked upon and considered "inappropriate". Filipinos at that time believed that the children were supposed to help their parents and not start a family until they were stable financially. It was inappropriate for them to stray away from their parents and/or do something that they weren't told to do. My mom also said that 20 year old women who got pregnant during that time were considered "mess-ups" of the society.
The man that I spoke to that was 20 years my senior was my old highschool Physiology teacher. When he was a 20 year old, his goals were to finish college and get a good job. He was from a pair of immigrant parents and a community of immigrants so being in college was a big achievement for him and most especially his family. Everyone's goals around him was to be successful and bring a better life to his family because that was the reason they migrated to America. He said that most 20 year olds during his time were more goal-oriented and motivated to work hard. Nowadays, some 20 year olds are not in school, do not have a job, and just living at home doing nothing. He explained that, that would have not been tolerated when he was a 20 year old.
The next person I interviewed was my grandpa, who is 40 years older than me. He didn't remember exactly what he did at the age of 20, but he said that most men that age in the Philippines were forced to be the breadwinner of the family. He was made to stop school, or not go at all to find a job and help put food on the table. He also said that most men were very hard working when he was 20 and they were all expected to be. Men were also very involved in politics and current events. Filipino families were very religious and it was extremely inappropriate for men to not follow the word of God and go to church weekly. The women during his time were very domestic and usually stayed at home to help her family with house work. He said that most of them were even married early.
I was set on interviewing my great Aunt until I sat with a 73 year old woman in the bus a couple of days before I wrote this blog post. She started to talk me about about my iPhone because she was amazed about the technology nowadays. I saw this an opportunity to talk to her about this assignment. Just like my grandpa, she didn't remember exactly what she did when she was 20, but she did know what the expectations were for her and other women around that age. She said that around that time, women were mostly homemakers, they were supposed to make food and clean. A lot of them married after highschool and it was abnormal to see some go on to college. Education were not in their goals. She chuckled and said, "Some men were actually scared of a smart woman." She explained to me that women were supposed to listen more than talk and they were to act properly, especially around men. Joining conversations that did not involve cooking and such was inappropriate behavior for them.
What I concluded with my interviews was that the older generation when they were in their 20's were absolutely much more hard working and family-oriented. They all conformed to what society or their family wanted them to do or be. 20 year olds nowadays go on their own paths and even move out as soon as they can. Some are even so used to being spoiled and having things handed to them that they do not the value of money and what it mean to work hard or provide for family. People were definitely raised more differently and less conservative. Women, especially, have different expectations then than now. They are more equal than they have ever been to men and like being so.
I enjoyed reading your post. I admire the way you wrote the norms of 20 year olds of yesteryears in great depth. Filipino culture regards family above everything. The first and foremost responsibility of any boy or girl in the house who starts earning is to support his family among Filipinas. I did a project on Filipino culture in my intercultural class, which taught us that Filipinas are very close-knit communities. They support their folks back home while they are working hard overseas. In fact Philippines is the only country after India, which sends maximum foreign exchange to their home country from overseas. This proves that the values of supporting family right from young age are laid strongly in the Filipinas.
ReplyDeleteI found your post very interesting and i can kind of relate since my family came from another place and weren't born in America. I heard about many filipino stories about them growing up supporting their families and everything since most of my friends are filipinos and I like to talk to their parents about how they grew up. I agree with 20 year olds now a days do nothing with their lives and have no goals in life. We see a lot that don't go to school or have a job. They live off their parents and probably won't even be able to provide for their parents if they came that up. They don't want to do anything since they were given and provided for as kid and don't know how to work for things.
ReplyDeleteI found your post to be really interesting. I always like learning about other cultures so I can compare to my culture and understand the differences and similarities. I thought it was interesting how your mom’s parents were very strict and placed a lot of importance on education. This is such a big difference from my mom’s parents. They were very laidback and didn’t have strong views about education. My mom would be considered a “mess-up” if she were living in the Philippines. However, in her society being a pregnant teen wasn’t out of the ordinary. When you talked about your grandpa having to be the bread winner I found this similar to my culture. My grandpa was the one who was expected to go out and work and my grandma was the one who stayed home and took care of the house and children. I found it interesting that this seems to be common through many different cultures.
ReplyDeleteI liked the fact that you in involved your mum in these discussion because she will give you a better view of how women are expected to behave. I got interested in understanding how the culture is like in the Philippine after reading your blog. So I went ahead to ask some of my Pilipino friends and they agreed to what you explained. It is very necessary for women to finish their education and be empowered to do what they have to do to make a better life. And also, the way the culture demands ladies to be decent in their dressing and the way they carry themselves in front of men will determine how they would be treated not to be taken advantage of. For the men, the high school teacher was right when he said, going to school was a great achievement for men at age 20; it is difficult for immigrants to go to school here in America because they have a different system entirely.
ReplyDeleteYour post was very well written. I think most of the Asians understand why they are so uptight here in America. If an Asian family is capable of being in America someone in their family lived their live similar as you stated above: males are very motivated and goal orientated, females worked hard to help her family and is her responsibility to take care of her family until she is married. I think that is amazing that you had a chance to speak with your grandmother! One of my grandmother is only in her early 60's! And my other grandmother is in her late 80's. Most definitely we can see how much further we have pushed females for higher education. Seeing them at home with an apron in the kitchen is becoming less and less common, especially in our generation. I honestly can't wait until our generation becomes outdated in 20 years or so. Society is changing rapidly fast just as your grandmother said!
ReplyDeleteBy reading your post about your talk with your mom made me think, “Wow.” I guess it never occurred to me the vast cultural differences even twenty some years ago. I can tell there was a lot more conservatism, kind of like my family but it was over forty years ago. Like the example about if a twenty year old were to get pregnant that they would be considered “mess-ups.” When one of my aunts got pregnant by accident forty years ago, she was considered a mess-up. The find time difference between the two to be surprising. I would say the two people you talked to who were forty years older than you sound very similar to the two I talk to.
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