Week 9 discussion - Question 3

The topic that I found really interesting in this chapter was in the little section that's called, "What keeps relationship together?" As a young adult, who is in a relationship for a year now, I usually wonder how people who have been together longer than my significant other and I keep the relationship alive and happy. Also, since I'm around so many couples who seem to argue more than they are happy, still stay together after all the misery they put each other through. I thought it was very interesting how during Mary Lund's study, it was commitment to a person that allows two people to be together for long time because they invest themselves in the relationship. The relationship is not solely just on love, but also because they are committed. I agree with this study because I feel like too many people’s relationship fail because they do not have the will to keep it together and work things out. No matter how much love there is present, it will mean nothing if both person’s hearts are not completely 100% in it. 

Week 9 discussion - Question 2

I think the last time I felt disconfirmed or defensive was when I had a talk with my mom about my curfew. I'm a sophomore year in college and already 19 years old, but she still feels that I need to be home by 10 pm. I believe that since I'm getting older, I should be allowed to be given trust with staying out late since I'm a good student and never did anything stupid to put myself in harm. My mom was very disconfirmed towards me because she did not want to listen to my thoughts and feelings at all and she did not even let me communicate with her at all because the whole time it was very one sided, which was her side. I feel like neutrality was present in the situation because she didn't show any interest in what I had to say. Also, certainty because my mom thought the whole time that she was right and my arguments were invalid and/or wrong.

Week 9 discussion - Question 1

Like the stubborn person that I am, sometimes I do find it difficult to confirm others when I disagree with them. It's a bad habit, but I always seem to feel attacked and/or offended when someone does not agree with what I have to say especially if I feel absolutely strong about it. By reading this chapter, I definitely can distinguish between the three levels of communication that confirm or disconfirm others. I feel that in my daily life, I do use a lot of recognition because even if I don't know someone and I see them in the hallway, I smile at them and recognize their existence. With my friends, I use acknowledgment when I listen to them vent to me about their problems. Lastly, I use endorsement with my significant other when we talk about our feelings towards each other. I believe I can distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas because sometimes, even though I find it difficult, I can accept their thoughts and feelings.

Week 7 dicussion - Question 3

The reading that I found interesting and want to discuss this week is the Obstacles to Communicating Emotions effectively. As a young adult, I feel like people my age have the most trouble trying to communicate how they truly feel. Instead, we all "beat around the bush" or not say anything at all. After reading, I understand now why this is so. One of the obstacles is social expectations. Society gives us a standard on how we should act. Men are supposed to be more reserved and quiet about their feelings and women are more vocal. This makes men more suppressed with their emotions because they feel like it's manly to do so. The second obstacle is self-protection. Sometimes, we don't want to voice out our emotions because we do not want people to act a certain way towards us or see us differently. Another obstacle is protecting others; we don't talk about our emotions sometimes because we fear it may hurt another person's feelings. The last one is social and professional rules. This obstacle happens because people feel like the roles they play in people's lives make showing emotions inappropriate.

Week 7 discussion - Question 2

As I reviewed the fallacies discussed in the chapter, I was excited because I have learned about them in my previous comm class. A lot of them definitely has showed up in my intrapersonal communication. The two that show up the most is fear of catastrophic failures and helplessness. Usually, when I'm about to do a task that requires a great amount of work and consequences if it's less than perfect, I think about extreme situations that will result in me failing horribly. I do this on almost every speech, presentation, or interview I involve myself in. Also, when I feel overwhelmed and stress about school or my personal life, I tend to have the fallacy of helplessness because I resort into thinking that there is nothing I can do about my problems and I will just fail. I end up beating myself up and being extremely sad about it. After I have read the ways to challenge the fallacies I fall into, I believe I can better my intrapersonal communication because I can use self-talk to reassure myself that everything is going to be okay and there will be a solution to whatever problem it is. 

Week 7 discussion - Question 1

The perspective on emotions that is discussed in the book are physiological, perceptual, and social. The perspective that makes the most sense to me is the social perspective because ever since I was a kid, my parents made me in tune with my emotions and which are appropriate for certain kinds of events and circumstances. Just like the book says, Asian families emphasize the emotion of shame at such a young age and that is true for mine but for different emotions also. This perspective gives me insight into emotions that I don't get from physiological and perceptual because it is how I learned as a child. I understand the "feeling rules" more because my parents have always taught me how to react into situations and I'm looked down upon if I act a way that is no in the "norm". For example, it is wrong to feel anger towards my parents because they see that as disrespectful. My parents definitely taught me through surface acting because they controlled my emotions as a kid.