Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Week 9 discussion - Question 1
Like the stubborn person that I am, sometimes I do find it difficult to confirm others when I disagree with them. It's a bad habit, but I always seem to feel attacked and/or offended when someone does not agree with what I have to say especially if I feel absolutely strong about it. By reading this chapter, I definitely can distinguish between the three levels of communication that confirm or disconfirm others. I feel that in my daily life, I do use a lot of recognition because even if I don't know someone and I see them in the hallway, I smile at them and recognize their existence. With my friends, I use acknowledgment when I listen to them vent to me about their problems. Lastly, I use endorsement with my significant other when we talk about our feelings towards each other. I believe I can distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas because sometimes, even though I find it difficult, I can accept their thoughts and feelings.
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After reading your post, I was able to agree with what you had written. Like you, I am very stubborn myself. I always tend to disagree with someone instead of actually confirming them. It definitely is a bad habit that I have to work on very hard to try and avoid. The times I disagree with people is because I feel like they are wrong or that their idea is not good enough for me to agree with. Hopefully this chapter helps both of us get rid of this habit we tend to have. I do tend to confirm others, but when I do, it is normally with people I have a good and comfortable relationship with.
ReplyDeleteHermoine, very nice post :)
ReplyDeleteI agree that it's hard to agree to disagree sometimes. When someone expresses a view that you don't share it can be difficult to just accept it as a valid opinion rather than give your own opinion and explain why it's the "right" one.
Sometimes I find myself in this situation with my boyfriend and he'll eventually point out that I'm being stubborn or I'll notice that he's getting upset that I'm not seeing his side. I feel bad that I do this to him, so I think it's pretty good inspiration for me to try to confirm him before I go and assume that I'm right and he's wrong.
Hey Hermoine! Great post. I like your genuine style of accepting being stubborn. I think we all are stubborn on something that we strongly agree on, but the ways and intensity of showing it might be different. I totally agree with you that it is not easy to confirm others when you completely disagree with them. This book has helped me unravel my own nature and reasons for my abrupt behavior in certain situations. Earlier I used to think, when things go wrong because of disconfirmation and disagreement with my loved ones in close relationships that why do such things happen to me only. However, now I can analyze myself what led to such a weird output because I understand the nitty gritties of recognition, confirmation, and endorsement.
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