Saturday, November 10, 2012
Week 12 discussion - Question 3
The topic that I paid attention to the most and even showed a friend is "Adapt communication to maintain long-distance relationships". Personally, I have not been in a long-distance relationship, but having a couple of friends who are in one gives me more insight that I would want to know. Sometimes, my friends vent to me so much about their problems with their long-distance partner, that I actually feel I'm in one also! Lately, a friend of mine has been going through a tough time being with someone so far away from her and since it was midterms week, they barely got to talk to each other. At this time, I already ran out of advice for her because I've been helping her out for months now. I read this section and found it real interesting when the book states, "because partners have limited time together, they often think that every moment must be perfect" This little line summed up everything that my friend has been dealing with for months! There's an added pressure for a long-distance relationship because they feel like every chance they get with each other has to be perfect and planned out. When in reality, the simple little things are what matter the most. Their unrealistic expectations, according to the book, leads to the second problem faced by most long-distance relationships.
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Hi Hermione,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great topic to choose. I especially like the quote you have selected. I think these strike at the very core of communications, every episode is constructed and co-constructed again and again. Each act of communication is based on what has previously happened and affects what is going to happen in the future. Your friends are extremely lucky to have someone like you to bounce ideas off of, and gather advice from. I agree with you and the book, that when facing long distance relationships, each moment is pressured and there is a need to make everything special, instead of just enjoying the moments as they occur. I wonder if a poll was set up, how many long distance relationships suffer from this type of expectations.
I enjoyed your post about long distance relationships this week. I think it is funny that you feel like you are in a long distance relationship through your friend. It’s good that you have given your friend advice because that’s the only thing you can do in this situation. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI like this post a lot because I can relate to it pretty well. I'm currently in a somewhat long distance relationship with my boyfriend. While I'm here at SJSU he goes to UC Santa Cruz. It's only about a half hour drive but it's just enough of an inconvenience that it's difficult to see each other very often. We strive to see each other every weekend and sometimes on weekdays if possible but it can be tough sometimes. For a while I was kind of falling into the trap of expecting every time we saw each other to be perfect and romantic, but after a while I came to realize that it can't be that way every time and that just enjoying each others' company was often more rewarding than anything else we did.
ReplyDeleteHi Hermione,
ReplyDeleteLike your friend, I too struggle with long distance relationships. Falling out of having common friends and experiences leaves less to talk about and room for awkward pauses where you don’t feel comfortable. I do this with family members too, not just friends and boyfriends. Family members living in southern California, Arizona, Missouri, and Colorado have commented on how close I am to my immediate vicinity family and how I lack relationships with them. It’s not that I do not love them or wish them well; I guess I just don’t feel connected to them so I struggle with adjusting to learn about their new lives and with sharing intimate details of mine that could provide more intimacy.
Thanks for the post!
Sea Star