Saturday, November 17, 2012
Week 13 discussion - Question 3
The thing that stuck out the most to me in this chapter was not any of the big topics or the tiny box section with cool little trivia. It was actually just one line. It said, "Approximately half of first marriages will end in divorce, and even higher proportion - 60% of remarriage end." This line really shocked me. I knew that marriages nowadays often fail because of many reasons, but it really did surprise me to see the actual amount. That means that half of the couples that chose to marry and promise, "For better of for worse" actually did not live up to their vows. It saddens me to know that instead of fixing something that is broken or wrong in the relationship, people take the easy way out and walk away from the problem - divorce. I feel like if at any point, two people are in love and want to make things work, that should be easy to bring back later on too when problems arise. I know I can't speak much about the topic because I have never been married or divorce, but ever since I can remember about marriage, I believe that two people should always try and fight for their love/marriage because they chose to be with this person forever. Maybe I don't understand. Maybe I'm too young to know the real problems adults face. But I do know that when you say for or for worse, you better mean it.
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I think that probably 40% of those marriages started and ended because of the initial love rush like Las Vegas drive through marriages, change of sexuality, or celebrity marriages. Most people I see are getting married way too early and starting family life much too early. There are girls I know whom are pregnant at 18 in college and just decide to marry the guy that got them pregnant. Sure you love them now, you live at home with your parents, he makes enough to pay for his car and gas and insurance and that's about it. The man has no "shoulder" to support a family. Why in the world did you get pregnant and start a family at 18???
ReplyDeleteI had actually forgotten I read that statistic during the reading and your post just reminded me of it! It is a very high and depressing number. I think a lot of it has to do with people rushing into marriages when they don't fully understand the responsibilities and obligations that are coupled with marriage. Marriage is not just about physical lust and being with someone who makes you feel good. It's a serious commitment and I feel people don't really understand that. I also agree with the comment above about teen pregnancy. People get scared and marry to keep the "family" together, but that doesn't mean the people are right for each other. Think before you act, that's how I live.
ReplyDeleteHi Hermione,
ReplyDeleteI saw that same stat about the marriages and was really surprised. I wonder if they ran a survey, what the most common reasons would be. I think most of my married friends stress and fight about money. Most of my friends that are married, are fairly new to it, typically 5 years or under, with most of the couples in the under 2 year category. When I asked about my team at work, which consists of about 12 people, only 3 of us had parents that were still married. Typically you hear stories that children of divorce have issues with marriage or commitment. However, every person on my team is currently married. I am not sure for how long or how happy, but if I am to apply the statistics from the book, half of them will end in marriage. Obviously as a person that believes in the sanctity of marriage and vows, this is a scary stat that makes me nervous to get married and share everything.
Wow, that's actually very shocking. I didn't realize that marriages failed so commonly. I'm surrounded by happy couples so i never thought that marriages ended so easily. I agree with you that it's sad to see how people agree to terms like "Til' death do us part" but in reality, it's not taken so seriously. Marriages are all about commitment and balance. There's a reason why these terms are made for marriages. As long as we actually agree with them i believe that marriages would actually work out instead of leading it to divorces. I think we need to stop taking the idea of a marriage for granted. Now a days, my generation takes a lot of things for granted.
ReplyDeleteThat statement was very shocking to me as well. I never realized how many marriages actually end in divorce, and I did not think it was anywhere near that high of a percentage. I knew that the divorce rate was much higher now than it was before, but half of marriages failing? That is just horrendous. I, like you, also believe that people should fight for their marriages no matter what. If you loved someone at any point in your life, that there is no reason that you should ever stop loving them, especially if you loved them enough to marry them.
ReplyDeleteI think this statistic was so sad. Coming from divorced parents and also a father who remarried and then divorced, I never really thought marriages could last. However, I met my husband and I knew that I wanted to be married whether the statistics said it would last or not. Now that I am married I am loving life and I am determined to work everyday to make my marriage work no matter what. I agree with you that people don’t want to take the time to repair their marriages. I think people divorce because it is easier than taking the time to fix their marriage.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest that statistic didn’t shock me that much, but that’s probably because literally all of the women in my family divorced their first husbands. My mom, my three aunts, both of my grandmas, my stepdad’s mom, the list goes on and on. However, being a child of divorce, I haven’t completely lost faith in the institution. While all of the women of my family have been divorced, they all also got remarried. And all of them (with the exception of one) remained married and happy with their second husband. I’m not saying that that’s how to do it, I don’t recommend a “starter husband” or anything. But I am saying that we all just need to be truly sure that we’re ready to commit to marriage before taking the plunge. Because from what I’ve seen, it can be a really wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteHi! I think you have a great blog and I agree with you that it is very shocking and sad that the percentages are so high for the divorce rate. It makes people not want to get married anymore. Getting married is supposed to be a happy thing and a lifetime commitment. I also think that the percentage from the book of 60% is for those who chose their lifetime partners. But as for arranged marriage, I think the divorce rate is much lower. There are some couples that I know who are in an arranged marriage or arranged date, it is less likely that they split or divorce.
ReplyDelete