Last week of discussion :( - Question 3

The concept that I truly enjoyed learning and even taught to my other friends was the section about committed romantic relationships. In this section of the book, I particularly paid attention to the styles of loving. The first style of loving is the primary style. It is eros, storge, and ludus. I was definitely interested because I did not know that there were many kinds of styles. The first one is the passionate style that happens fast and is very dramatic. This style is when people fall in love quickly and just have this crazy kind of affection for each other. Storge is the kind of love that comes out of a friendship. This is the love that doesn't happen right away, but is developed over time. Lastly, ludus is a playful style of love. The people who uses this style do not take the relationship seriously and sees it as a game. This kind of love are more common on men than in women. These styles of loving was interesting to me because I did not know that the things I see in life can fall into these categories.

Last week of discussion :( - Question 2

My favorite thing about this class was the blogging. I used to blog on Tumblr and I really enjoyed it. It was such a different feel than any of my classes and since this was my first online class, the blogging aspect really did make me enjoy it. At first, I thought it would just be reading and tests online but I really do like writing and having people comment on it and give their feedback. I also did like how I can interact with my classmates through their blogs because other online classes I’ve heard about did not do that. I don't think there is anything I particularly disliked about this class, because I really did enjoy the assignments and even the papers. I don't normally like writing papers but as a comm major, I definitely enjoyed learning and writing about interpersonal communication. I think this class does not really need any improvement because it's good how it is. It is also very convenient and easy to learn. 

Last week of Discussion :( - Question 1

Over the course of this semester, I learned a lot about verbal and nonverbal communication. I learned that verbal communication is highly influenced by our culture and the environment we live in. For example, most Asian families are not as open about sensitive topics to each other like American families. Also, I learned more about ambiguity and how sometimes what we mean is not necessarily what we say and confusion can arise. Nonverbal communication is another thing I learned more of in this class because it says much more than verbal. Our body language and what we communicate through our eyes and other nonverbal actions is more believable because it truly expresses our real feelings. We cannot fake how our faces and our bodies look like, but we can definitely think and change what we say verbally. I also learned a lot about friendship and how communication plays a big role in it. For example, I learned about not sweating the small stuff and that is something that definitely has improved my friendships. It states that we should not let the small irritations and small slights ruin a friendship because they are usually the cause of friendship's dying.

Week 13 discussion - Question 3

The thing that stuck out the most to me in this chapter was not any of the big topics or the tiny box section with cool little trivia. It was actually just one line. It said, "Approximately half of first marriages will end in divorce, and even higher proportion - 60% of remarriage end." This line really shocked me. I knew that marriages nowadays often fail because of many reasons, but it really did surprise me to see the actual amount. That means that half of the couples that chose to marry and promise, "For better of for worse" actually did not live up to their vows. It saddens me to know that instead of fixing something that is broken or wrong in the relationship, people take the easy way out and walk away from the problem - divorce. I feel like if at any point, two people are in love and want to make things work, that should be easy to bring back later on too when problems arise. I know I can't speak much about the topic because I have never been married or divorce, but ever since I  can remember about marriage, I believe that two people should always try and fight for their love/marriage because they chose to be with this person forever. Maybe I don't understand. Maybe I'm too young to know the real problems adults face. But I do know that when you say for or for worse, you better mean it.

Week 13 discussion - Question 2

I do believe that marriage and relationships have evolved so much over time, especially in my less-conservative generations. Nowadays, people's views on marriage are definitely not as traditional as before. There are more and more women, surprisingly, who do not feel the need to get married anymore. Back then, women are looked at as men's property and that the only goal they had was to get married because that's what they are meant to do. In this day and age, women choose not to get married because they are independent and can hold their own. I predict as time goes on, this will change even more and women will realize more that they do not a man or marriage at all in their life. I also predict (and highly hope!) that over the next 50 years, gay marriage will not become an issue anymore. Many homosexuals are starting to bravely come out nowadays and the more they all stand together and unite can really change people's perspective especially because it really shouldn't matter to anyone else who someone wants to marry. 

Week 13 discussion - Question 1

For me, I define family as people who are there for you unconditionally. I feel like family is supposed to be the group of people who will stick around no matter what because at the end of the day, you guys are all who each other got. Now, family to me does not always mean blood-related, because I sure do have relatives who I don't really consider family because they have not shown me any kind of love and care that can make consider them one. They are simply just people in my life who share the same DNA or last name as me. Family members love, support, and definitely understand each other to the best of their abilities or even more. I think the type of relationship discussed in this chapter that fit my definition of family the most is a diverse family. My family and I all have different goals and we are all different people, but in the end of it all, we all still love each other the same. I don't think anyone who does not allow themselves to love and care for someone unconditionally can ever be a part of a family.

Week 12 discussion - Question 3

The topic that I paid attention to the most and even showed a friend is "Adapt communication to maintain long-distance relationships". Personally, I have not been in a long-distance relationship, but having a couple of friends who are in one gives me more insight that I would want to know. Sometimes, my friends vent to me so much about their problems with their long-distance partner, that I actually feel I'm in one also! Lately, a friend of mine has been going through a tough time being with someone so far away from her and since it was midterms week, they barely got to talk to each other. At this time, I already ran out of advice for her because I've been helping her out for months now. I read this section and found it real interesting when the book states, "because partners have limited time together, they often think that every moment must be perfect" This little line summed up everything that my friend has been dealing with for months! There's an added pressure for a long-distance relationship because they feel like every chance they get with each other has to be perfect and planned out. When in reality, the simple little things are what matter the most. Their unrealistic expectations, according to the book, leads to the second problem faced by most long-distance relationships.

Week 12 discussion - Question 2

Yes, I have experienced a relationship before that had love, but not commitment. As a young adult, most men my age feel like they can't allow themselves to be tied down in a relationship because there are simply just other options out there. For a while, I have been "dating" this guy, it was not said that we were actually dating or together (hence, the lack of commitment), but we both knew that we cared about each other a lot. We we're always there for each other and mostly acted like we we're officially together, but he never found it in himself to fully commit to me enough to ask me to be his girlfriend. It started out okay for me, but after a while I had to let him go because I wanted someone who would actually make things official with me. 

Ironically, after some time, I did find myself tied with another guy. This time around, it was with one of my closest guy friends. He told me that since I was finally single, he can let me know his true feelings for me. At first, I was freaked out, but after a couple days I began to see him in a new light. But since I did not have feelings for him to begin with, the feelings I thought I had for him began to go away. At the time it did, we were starting to "get to know each other" better. I committed myself to him by trying to "love" him the way he did for me, but in the end it was just really some friendly thing. I was committed because I tried and did my best to return the affection I was getting, but in the end, a relationship can't function without the right kind of love. 

I think being in relationships that somewhat had love but not commitment and commitment but not love makes me conclude that they can never really work out unless both are present. The two of them are both key things to have a successful relationship with someone. 

Week 12 discussion - Question 1

I believe that in this day and age of technology, it has been very easy for people to misrepresent who they are through the internet and other means of social media. I think it's not ethical to do so because not only are they deceiving people, but they are also cheating themselves out of what could be a potential friendship/relationship. By not allowing people to know who you truly you are, you cannot possibly make a strong connection with them. Basically, if you misrepresent yourself, you are basically lying for the rest of your relationship with any person. I think it definitely is more likely online to have deception, but it does not mean that it can't happen in face-to-face interaction also. It's easier for people to lie while behind a computer screen because their body language and facial expressions cannot be seen. During face-to-face interactions, it's difficult to misrepresent your appearance because they can see you. Also, it's very hard for someone to change up who they are in person because their mannerisms an actions are what they are used to in their day to day life. Unlike over the internet, where you could just make up who you are because no one else would know the truth.

Week 11 discussion - Question 3

On this chapter, the "Don't sweat the small stuff" really stood out to me because sometimes I do have the tendency to focus on the little things that my friends do wrong rather than looking past it and remembering all the good that they have done. I feel like all the little things that do irritate me makes me think that they're not worthy of being friends with, but in reality I'm just blinded by those irritations. For example, I have a friend that always changes plans whenever we hang out. One of my biggest pet peeves is plans not going accordingly because then I get stressed and anxious. She does almost every time and for some reason, I've made up in my head that she's also a bad friend in other aspects even though she really wasn't. The small stuff that irritated caused me to make up all these other things just because I was annoyed. I blew up on her and our friendship really has not been the same since then. I wish that I didn't let all the small stuff get in my head and make me a little bit delusional because now that everything is said and done, I do believe she was a great friend.

Week 11 discussion - Question 2

My best friend and I have invested so much in our friendship. Being friends since high school, the drama definitely tried to knock us down many times and we both have been caught up in petty fights. We've gotten through these things because we took the time to fix our problems and clear out rumors instead of just not being friends anymore. The trust was built after we both opened up to each other and it was rebuilt after our first "fight" when she confessed about what she did wrong to me instead of me just finding out through other people. This fight also  helped me realize that even though my best friend has done wrong things and have flaws, I am also the same way and we're going to make mistakes in our lives. This realization has helped me accept her more, with flaws and all. Now, we both never have to front when it comes to our feelings and our wrongdoings with each other. Our closeness nowadays are mostly through dialogue since we are both busy with our own lives, but we do make the effort to do activities together when we are both free. I feel like after almost 7 years of friendship, my best friend and I have been consistent with the dynamics discussed in this chapter (except for the first year, which I call the "rough patch"). 

Week 11 discussion - Question 1

It was difficult for me to find something on the forum page that related to some extent to the problems that arise in friendships in this chapter. With that said, I do believe that a lot of friendships, especially the ones that are from high school that do continue onto college face challenges. The external pressure, personal changes, play a huge role in these problems because as friends move on with their lives, they become completely different people. Sometimes, it's easy to deal with the change, but for some people it is not. Thus, a problem can arise or a friendship could end. For example, one of my best friends from high school decided to also attend SJSU with me but became friends with new people as time went by. It was fine with me at first, but after a while, his new group of friends influenced his new interests and his personality just no longer clicked with mine. His personal changes definitely brought out plenty of problems between us and we both tried to fix them to save the friendship, but in the end we just both gave up and respected the fact that we both changed. There were no hard feelings, but it was definitely a sad moment in my life.

Week 9 discussion - Question 3

The topic that I found really interesting in this chapter was in the little section that's called, "What keeps relationship together?" As a young adult, who is in a relationship for a year now, I usually wonder how people who have been together longer than my significant other and I keep the relationship alive and happy. Also, since I'm around so many couples who seem to argue more than they are happy, still stay together after all the misery they put each other through. I thought it was very interesting how during Mary Lund's study, it was commitment to a person that allows two people to be together for long time because they invest themselves in the relationship. The relationship is not solely just on love, but also because they are committed. I agree with this study because I feel like too many people’s relationship fail because they do not have the will to keep it together and work things out. No matter how much love there is present, it will mean nothing if both person’s hearts are not completely 100% in it. 

Week 9 discussion - Question 2

I think the last time I felt disconfirmed or defensive was when I had a talk with my mom about my curfew. I'm a sophomore year in college and already 19 years old, but she still feels that I need to be home by 10 pm. I believe that since I'm getting older, I should be allowed to be given trust with staying out late since I'm a good student and never did anything stupid to put myself in harm. My mom was very disconfirmed towards me because she did not want to listen to my thoughts and feelings at all and she did not even let me communicate with her at all because the whole time it was very one sided, which was her side. I feel like neutrality was present in the situation because she didn't show any interest in what I had to say. Also, certainty because my mom thought the whole time that she was right and my arguments were invalid and/or wrong.

Week 9 discussion - Question 1

Like the stubborn person that I am, sometimes I do find it difficult to confirm others when I disagree with them. It's a bad habit, but I always seem to feel attacked and/or offended when someone does not agree with what I have to say especially if I feel absolutely strong about it. By reading this chapter, I definitely can distinguish between the three levels of communication that confirm or disconfirm others. I feel that in my daily life, I do use a lot of recognition because even if I don't know someone and I see them in the hallway, I smile at them and recognize their existence. With my friends, I use acknowledgment when I listen to them vent to me about their problems. Lastly, I use endorsement with my significant other when we talk about our feelings towards each other. I believe I can distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas because sometimes, even though I find it difficult, I can accept their thoughts and feelings.

Week 7 dicussion - Question 3

The reading that I found interesting and want to discuss this week is the Obstacles to Communicating Emotions effectively. As a young adult, I feel like people my age have the most trouble trying to communicate how they truly feel. Instead, we all "beat around the bush" or not say anything at all. After reading, I understand now why this is so. One of the obstacles is social expectations. Society gives us a standard on how we should act. Men are supposed to be more reserved and quiet about their feelings and women are more vocal. This makes men more suppressed with their emotions because they feel like it's manly to do so. The second obstacle is self-protection. Sometimes, we don't want to voice out our emotions because we do not want people to act a certain way towards us or see us differently. Another obstacle is protecting others; we don't talk about our emotions sometimes because we fear it may hurt another person's feelings. The last one is social and professional rules. This obstacle happens because people feel like the roles they play in people's lives make showing emotions inappropriate.

Week 7 discussion - Question 2

As I reviewed the fallacies discussed in the chapter, I was excited because I have learned about them in my previous comm class. A lot of them definitely has showed up in my intrapersonal communication. The two that show up the most is fear of catastrophic failures and helplessness. Usually, when I'm about to do a task that requires a great amount of work and consequences if it's less than perfect, I think about extreme situations that will result in me failing horribly. I do this on almost every speech, presentation, or interview I involve myself in. Also, when I feel overwhelmed and stress about school or my personal life, I tend to have the fallacy of helplessness because I resort into thinking that there is nothing I can do about my problems and I will just fail. I end up beating myself up and being extremely sad about it. After I have read the ways to challenge the fallacies I fall into, I believe I can better my intrapersonal communication because I can use self-talk to reassure myself that everything is going to be okay and there will be a solution to whatever problem it is. 

Week 7 discussion - Question 1

The perspective on emotions that is discussed in the book are physiological, perceptual, and social. The perspective that makes the most sense to me is the social perspective because ever since I was a kid, my parents made me in tune with my emotions and which are appropriate for certain kinds of events and circumstances. Just like the book says, Asian families emphasize the emotion of shame at such a young age and that is true for mine but for different emotions also. This perspective gives me insight into emotions that I don't get from physiological and perceptual because it is how I learned as a child. I understand the "feeling rules" more because my parents have always taught me how to react into situations and I'm looked down upon if I act a way that is no in the "norm". For example, it is wrong to feel anger towards my parents because they see that as disrespectful. My parents definitely taught me through surface acting because they controlled my emotions as a kid. 

Week 6 discussion - Question 3

The topic that stuck out to me the most in this chapter is the internal obstacles that hinder us from listening. The first one is preoccupation which means that we are too into our own thoughts and other life concerns that we cannot focus on what a speaker is saying. Next is prejudgment that occurs when a listener think he/she already knows what is going to be said or just judged someone before they started talking so they tune out the information being given. Reacting to emotionally loaded language is the fourth obstacle because people tend to react emotionally to a speaker's way of talking that they may not fully understand the meaning of whatever is being said. Lack of effort is an obstacle because listening takes a lot of energy and effort to do so sometimes people are not focusing well enough to actually understand meanings. Lastly, failure to adapt listening styles because it is necessary to be able to adjust to different listening styles when needed and some people fail to do so, making it hard for them to listen effectively. I felt like these five internal obstacles are really helpful to know because people need to see and understand what is causing them to be a bad listener so they can work on making it better.

Week 6 discussion - Question 2

In "Listening is a 10 part skill", I learned that it is good to always find an area of interest when listening because most people become bad listeners after they've decided nothing is interesting them in the communication happening. So, always ask yourself what is this speaker saying that I can use. The word "use" is the key to finding an interest in whatever topic someone is talking about. I also learned that as a listener, you are supposed to judge the content of a speech instead of how you feel about the speaker and to "hold your fire" if you do disagree with the things being said. Note taking and working on listening better is also a key skill because note taking can increase your knowledge about the ideas and having enough energy to listen will improve listening skills. Lastly, I learned that it is best to free ourselves of distraction when listening because most people talk at a fast speed and without distractions, we can listen better.

Week 6 discussion - Question 1

The six types of nonlistening forms that were discussed in this chapter were: pseudolistening which means pretending to listen, monopolizing as in only continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of listening to the person talking, selective listening that only focuses on particular parts of communication, defensive listening which means perceiving personal attacks, criticism, etc that is not critical or mean-spirited, ambushing that's only purpose is to attack the speaker, and literal listening where everything is taken literally and pays no attention to the relationship level of meaning. 

I believe the type of nonlistening form that I engage in the most in my everyday life is pseudolistening. This happens because I get distracted very easily and my mind wanders off a lot. In the morning before I leave for school, my mom usually tells me all these precautionary rules and I appear to be listening, but I'm really just too into my phone. In my history class, I am not concentrated in class and only seem to be listening when in reality I'm day dreaming or surfing the internet when I get ahead of note taking. I do get worried sometimes that I'm not receiving important information because my mind is always elsewhere. I believe I can fix this by using my technology devices less often because that seems to be the number one reason why I cannot concentrate on one thing. I'm always distracted by social networks, phone calls, and text messages. I absolutely believe that having less time on my phone and laptop can help me be a better listener.

Week 4 discussion - Question 3

The reading that stood out to me the most this week was ambiguity. We focused a lot on this term in my Comm 40 class last semester so it was interesting to me to see it pop up again in readings this semester. Ambiguity means that something is unclear or can be interpreted in different way by different people. For example, saying "It's hot" is ambiguous because what is hot for someone may be not the same for another person. It would be understood better if someone says, "It's 80 degrees today." because everyone knows exactly what 80 degrees feels like and they can say for themselves if that is hot or not. The meaning of words or phrases is changed depending on who it is. Most people are misunderstood because they used ambiguous words instead of being specific when they are trying to communicate something. Communication is improved if people had less ambiguity in their speech. 

Week 4 discussion - Question 2

I learned that hate speech is defined as any communication or gesture that targets a person because of his/her race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. The people that engage in it are those who protest against a certain attribute that a person has or people who just have something against someone's race, gender, etc. There are not much effort to regulate hate speech on the Web because the First Amendment protects it. The First amendment allows people to freely express themselves through speech and they cannot be punished by saying whatever they want as long as it is not libel, obscenity, or fighting words. I believe that hate speech should be banned and people who choose to use hate speech should be penalized. Hate speech should definitely censored because not only is it hateful, but it can lead to many horrible consequences such as depression of the person targeted, or even worse, suicide. Some people may argue that censoring hate speech would be violating our right to free speech, but free speech should not be abused and used to bash on people just because we do not agree with who they are and their way of life. I think hate speech can be reduced if people were educated on its consequences. Also, reducing hate speech can start at home, where parents and elders can teach their children at a young age that it is wrong and it should not be done. The way kids were raised can really have an affect on how they would be when they're older.

Week 4 discussion - Question 1

I agree that the metaphor "melting pot" is not very respectful in terms of honoring people's differences. America is such a diverse country, full of people with different backgrounds, cultures, and personalities. It would be completely wrong to say that all these people are supposed melt into one kind of person and have a unified character. For me, I see the American society as ingredients to a wonderful family dinner. All these ingredients are unique and one of a kind that give their own flavor to the entree. The American society is full of people who contribute to the country with all their different attributes that makes this country a special one. If there was a missing ingredient because one does not fit for the recipe, there are many others who can fill in the spot even if they are not exactly the same. That also goes for America because different people are better fit for different type of jobs. So I believe that the metaphor of the society being ingredients to an amazing meal is a good one because each and everyone of us has something to offer to be a part of something great.

Week 3 discussion - Question 3

The concept that caught my interest and wanted to focus on more in depth was the Family influences of Self-Concept. Growing up, I didn't know that there were so many influences that we have in our lives that determine who we are and what we become later on in life. Direct Definition is when a family member or anyone else in your life directly tells you who they want you to be. For example, my mom always used to tell me when I was little that I was a bright girl, so I grew up thinking so. The next one is reflected appraisal is when we see ourselves as who people see us as. If someone even indirectly shows us that we are likable, we would take it upon ourselves that we are likable. Identity Scripts are rules that we live by as early as when we learn how to talk. If our family members value education, we grow up knowing to finish school because it's a rule that we were taught. The last one is attachment style. It is when parents or caregivers teach us how to handle relationships in our life. If our parents are loving, we would most likely be loving later on and if they are abusive, there is a chance that we might turn out to be also.

Week 3 discussion - Question 2

The books defines race as "the primary aspect of personal identity." It is what people classify a person as just by looking at him/her. I definitely do not believe it is a useful way of classifying people because race comes with many stereotypes that is not true for many people in that race. Race is also mistaken easily so it cannot be an accurate way to determine who people are. Some person will see an Asian person and automatically think she's Chinese, but in reality she's actually Vietnamese. That type of confusion is common among many people that it cannot be good to use it as a way to classify people. Also, race makes people bias. A more popular race, like Caucasian may be treated much better than someone who is African-American, Asian, or Indian. I also definitely believe that the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races because nowadays, more interracial relationships are going on, resulting into mixed children. These children should be able to identify both races that they are. However, even though they define themselves as a certain mixed race, they should still not be classified in that way because personality is still more important than the color of your skin, your heritage, or the family that you were born in.

Week 3 discussion - Question 1

The woman that I talked to that was 20 years older than me was my mom. She explained to me that being a 20 year old in the Philippines was much more different that being a 20 year old in America today. Most of the parents at that time were conservative and strict with their children, even if they are 20 years old already. She was to be in college, stay in it, and graduate. Not only was she expected to finish her education, she was also expected to help provide for her family. She said that anyone who went off this path was badly looked upon and considered "inappropriate". Filipinos at that time believed that the children were supposed to help their parents and not start a family until they were stable financially. It was inappropriate for them to stray away from their parents and/or do something that they weren't told to do. My mom also said that 20 year old women who got pregnant during that time were considered "mess-ups" of the society.

The man that I spoke to that was 20 years my senior was my old highschool Physiology teacher. When he was a 20 year old, his goals were to finish college and get a good job. He was from a pair of immigrant parents and a community of immigrants so being in college was a big achievement for him and most especially his family. Everyone's goals around him was to be successful and bring a better life to his family because that was the reason they migrated to America. He said that most 20 year olds during his time were more goal-oriented and motivated to work hard. Nowadays, some 20 year olds are not in school, do not have a job, and just living at home doing nothing. He explained that, that would have not been tolerated when he was a 20 year old.

The next person I interviewed was my grandpa, who is 40 years older than me. He didn't remember exactly what he did at the age of 20, but he said that most men that age in the Philippines were forced to be the breadwinner of the family. He was made to stop school, or not go at all to find a job and help put food on the table. He also said that most men were very hard working when he was 20 and they were all expected to be. Men were also very involved in politics and current events. Filipino families were very religious and it was extremely inappropriate for men to not follow the word of God and go to church weekly. The women during his time were very domestic and usually stayed at home to help her family with house work. He said that most of them were even married early.

I was set on interviewing my great Aunt until I sat with a 73 year old woman in the bus a couple of days before I wrote this blog post. She started to talk me about about my iPhone because she was amazed about the technology nowadays. I saw this an opportunity to talk to her about this assignment. Just like my grandpa, she didn't remember exactly what she did when she was 20, but she did know what the expectations were for her and other women around that age. She said that around that time, women were mostly homemakers, they were supposed to make food and clean. A lot of them married after highschool and it was abnormal to see some go on to college. Education were not in their goals. She chuckled and said, "Some men were actually scared of a smart woman." She explained to me that women were supposed to listen more than talk and they were to act properly, especially around men. Joining conversations that did not involve cooking and such was inappropriate behavior for them.

What I concluded with my interviews was that the older generation when they were in their 20's were absolutely much more hard working and family-oriented. They all conformed to what society or their family wanted them to do or be. 20 year olds nowadays go on their own paths and even move out as soon as they can. Some are even so used to being spoiled and having things handed to them that they do not the value of money and what it mean to work hard or provide for family. People were definitely raised more differently and less conservative. Women, especially, have different expectations then than now. They are more equal than they have ever been to men and like being so.

Week 2 discussion - Question 3

The concept that I found interesting during this assigned reading was Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I've seen it before in my psychology class my senior year. Reading about these ideas once more, in more detail and examples, allowed me to fully understand what they mean. I find it useful to know these needs because I feel like I can cater to myself and my loved ones more by knowing exactly what they need to be satisfied in their life. I also enjoyed that it tied in with how important communication is to survive. For example, our physical needs are met when we communicate to people such as our doctors for our illnesses and our bosses for our salary. The need that caught my attention the most is the "self-actualization" one. I learned that personal growth is the way to be truly happy with myself. I also learned that it is okay to experiment with different kind of lifestyles for myself because it will help me find what I really want and be at peace with myself.

Week 2 dicussion - Question 2

A relationship of mine that has become close over time is the one I have with my significant other. He and I met in middle school, but didn't pay much attention to each other's existence. At that time, our relationship was an I-It because we basically ignored one another. I walked passed him in the hallways, not even acknowledging him even though I've met him once. This kind of relationship between us lasted for about 3/4 years until his senior year in Highschool. For some reason, he had worked up the courage to approach me again and get to know me. During this stage, we talked "small-talk", texting each other about our days and asking what we're doing at the time. It was very casual and our personal, private lives were never discussed. After a while, we became great friends and a relationship blossomed.

Now, our relationship can be described as an "I-thou" kind. We've gotten very comfortable around each other, so our guards our down and the trust is high. He and I talk every night, discussing not only what we did for the day, but also how we felt. Feelings and problems are often discussed in our conversations because we have opened ourselves completely to each other. Our relationship definitely had differences over time because we went from being non-existent in each other's lives, to friends, and now as a couple.

Week 2 discussion - Question 1

A "linear model" of communication is a type of communication that is only coming from one way. That is, from someone who is a speaker to someone who is just a listener. There is no back and forth dialogue that goes on between the two people having the interaction. The speaker talks without getting any oral feedback from whoever is listening, just simple facial expressions or gestures. An example of a "linear model" of communication from my life is all the times I have been scolded by my dad. During this time, my dad lectures, scolds, and even yell while I sit back and don't say a word. I only gave him occasional nods to let him know that I was receiving all the lectures that he was throwing at me.

An "interactive model" of communication happens when a conversation is two way. This means that the conversation is a responsive one, where the people involved are actively listening and speaking to each other. There is dialogue between the people in the conversation and they both receive some kind of oral feedback after they are done talking. This kind of communication is also sequential because it is a give and take process. A speaker gives a message, the listener receives and then gives his/her feedback. An example of this type of communication in my life is the relationship I have with my best friends. When they talk to me about their problems, I actively listen and tell them my opinion in between.

Introduction

Hello everyone! As you can all tell by now, I am a big Harry Potter fan. I put my name as Hermione Weasley because it seemed like a fun alias but you guys can also call me Jill if Hermione is too long to type sometimes :) During my free time, I like to spend time with my loved ones and if they're all busy, I sleep! I also love to interact with people and taking an online class where I can't have face to face conversations is very new to me so bare with me until I get the hang of it. It's something different, but I'm excited to try it out because I spend most of the time on my laptop anyway and I enjoy reading so an online class seemed like the right choice!

I am a second year at SJSU and my major is communication studies. I chose this field to study because I've always wanted to be a sports commentator and/or be a sports journalist. I am a major basketball fan and I want to have a career that will allow me to be around the sport I enjoy so much. I wish I could play, but unfortunately I was not blessed with such athletic talents, so being part of it behind the scenes is good enough for me! I've taken two communications classes already during my first year: comm 20 and comm 41 both of which I enjoyed very much. The thing I hope to get out of this class the most is that I want to learn how communication affect relationships people have with each other. I am also very interested to learn how I can better my social relationships through communication.